Wonders Never Cease to Amaze
by lalas
Summary: Lily stared at him a moment and James was convinced this was going to be one of those times where his ears would still be ringing days after the verbal lashing had finished. But she surprised him by sighing closing her eyes and slumping back in her chair
1. Pathetic

When James Potter woke, he groaned realising the reason for his abrupt return to consciousness was a hard-on as solid as a rock. He couldn't believe it, it was the fifth time this week. 

_What was the matter with him? _He knew boys of his age were supposed to have a high sex drive, but this was getting bloody ridiculous.

Couldn't he have just one morning off?!

_Honestly!_, he thought frustrated at himself he was too old and had had to much experience with girls to have so little control over his body's reactions. So how was it possible that dreams which consisted of nothing more perverted than watching her sitting in the chair closest to the fire in the common room with her pyjamas on could cause such an extreme reaction?

She was definitely beautiful. She was definitely wonderful, but she was also nothing but a bitch to him. And yet, he woke up every morning thinking about her.

He sighed realising there was only one thing he could do. What choice did he have really? He knew a cold shower was not going to work, having tried it many times over the last few weeks, and since he certainly couldn't go to breakfast with it, he was going to have to deal with it the only other way he knew how.

So he did what he had to do, as images of a girl with dark red hair and bright green eyes flashed through his mind.

After a few steadying breaths he stared up at his canopy thinking.

It's not like he only liked her for the way she looked or the way she turned him on, she was also in a word brilliant. It was just a shame she didn't have the same high opinion of him.

He had spent most of his school days trying to get glimpses of her; trying to get her to give him just one chance. In fact he had tried everything and anything he could think of to get her to notice him, but his efforts just annoyed her. In fact the harder he tried the more she began to detest him.

As such, over the years, James had slowly lost all hope of ever getting to be with Lily and had had to try to learn to satisfy himself with the fact that they were never going to be a couple. In an attempt to get over this obsession he was harbouring, he had tried dating all kinds of different girls, hoping to find the one that would distract him. The almost manic quest had led to James gaining a reputation almost as bad as that of his best friend, Sirius Black. Problem was, whenever he was with one of them, all he could ever seem to want was _her_.

Which was why, despite his failing hope, and all the many creative and often harsh rejections he had received from her, he continued to ask her out.

That, as his best friends and fellow Marauders never failed to point out during their constant ribbing, was pathetic. And what really pissed him off was that he knew that they were right, he was pathetic.

So pathetic that he couldn't help but watch her whenever they were in the same room together, as they were now, and true to form he had spent all night watching her.

She had sat in a chair after dinner, had started to revise, and had failed to move since. James checked his watched and realized she had to have been working for hours. This realization amazed and worried him.

Normally her almost obsessive work ethic didn't bother him at all. It wasn't exactly an unusual occurrence to see Lily absorbed in school work, it was just the way she was. What worried him was that she normally spent at least some of her time enjoying herself, but for the last month or so she had been refusing to do anything more than study, eat, and when she was desperate sleep. She was starting to look tired and he was worried she would burn out before they were even half way through the year.

He figured she put too much pressure on herself. He had a feeling it had to do with being a Muggleborn. A lot people didn't think she belonged, so in order to prove herself she strove to be the best at everything, and she was. She, however, often got so wrapped up in proving herself that she would push herself right to her limits and end up in an awful state and unfortunately this year was worse than any other because on top of NEWT's, which thoroughly deserved their name, she had Head Girl duties to contend with.

Worst of all her friends hadn't seemed to notice. That by no means meant that they didn't care, on the contrary the only group that was closer to each other, was his. It was just that James had been watching her more closely than anyone else for a few years now and he had learnt the early signs of collapse off by heart.

This evening thought, when she eventually got so frustrated she snapped her quill he decided he had to do something instead of just watching her decent like he was normally forced to do. What he was going to do he wasn't entirely sure, but he felt he should at least try. So fully expecting to get rebuffed, but deciding it couldn't hurt. He marched right up to her and did something no other man, woman, or child would dare to do. He snatched the book she had been reading clear out of her grasp.

After a startled cry of protest, her head snapped up, emerald eyes blazing, intending to start bellowing until whoever had taken her book, had a full and compete understanding of the concept of manners.

James, however, having over the years been subject to many verbal and sometimes physical assaults from her, knew the way to prevent her from ripping out his entrails and feeding them to him while he watched was to stop her before she worked herself up it to a full tantrum.

So he jumped right in and said, "You're working way too hard, you're here when I get up and when I go to bed. I never see you do anything even remotely fun anymore. You're a mess. Without intervention you're going to burn yourself out, and as such I am high-jacking you whether you like it or not."

She opened her mouth to retort but James cut across saying firmly "Don't underestimate me Evans, I'll sling you over my shoulder if I have to."

When she raised an eyebrow at him appraisingly, almost daring him

He mimicked her facial expression before saying, "don't test me, we both know I would do it, after all I've done a lot worse"

Lily stared at him a moment and James was convinced that this was going to be one of those times where his ears would still be ringing days after the verbal lashing had finished. She, however, surprised him by sighing closing her eyes and slumping back into her chair.

She was silent for so long that James was starting to think that she wasn't going to co-operate and he was just starting to plan ways of getting her out of the chair and onto his shoulder without her maiming him, when she completely caught him of guard by saying, "Okay, Okay, so what did you have in mind Potter?"

He almost pissed himself. She never _willingly_ spent time with him. Even more worrying she almost never let him win. But not wanting to question his luck, he composed himself and offered her his hand.

---


	2. Close

"Do your balls hang low, can you swing them to a fro, 

Can you tie em' in a knot, can you tie em' in a bow,

Do you get that funny feeling when you bollocks hit the ceiling,

That you'll never be a sailor, if you balls hag looooooooow"

They sang together as they walked back from an evening sat drinking underneath a tree on the bank of the Black Lake. 

Earlier today Lily had come to the realization that her life had come to the point where the anecdote, "if everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something," had become very apt.

She was top of almost every class, popular, had the best friends in the world, and James Potter was keeping his stalking to a minimum. But then suddenly, this morning, she realised that she was on the brink of a break down. She had reached the stage of stress where she had woken up screaming only to realise she hadn't fallen asleep yet.

It was odd that the only person to notice her dilemma and then been able to make her feel better was James.

But she wasn't surprised, it was typical. Tonight he had given her exactly what she had needed, fresh air and something so outrageous that it took her mind off the other things. She was so grateful that she didn't even want to know how he had gotten Firewhiskey, she was just thankful that he'd had it.

He had read her like a book and quite frankly it was kind of freaky how well he knew her. And with the sudden clarity half a bottle of Firewhiskey brings; she realised that James always seemed to be there providing her with whatever she needed, always making her feel better, even if he sometimes was the initial cause of the stress.

She had to admit she was beginning to warm up to him. In fact, if he hadn't been a total jerk his entire life she might even have considered being his friend before now. If only he had been himself, without the showing off; without the arrogance…

It's funny how things could change so drastically. Potter had been nothing, but bothersome up until the beginning of this school year. For almost her entire school career, he had been plaguing her to go out with him; hounding her everywhere she went. Always trying something stupid to get her to notice him, a poem; a flower; a book; or some other embarrassing (almost, always public) declaration of love. One very ill conceived time he even thought it was a good idea to serenade her.

How he thought that any of the mortifying things he did would miraculously change her mind about him she would never know.

But she wasn't stupid. She had always been aware that he was gorgeous with his Quidditch toned body, messy hair, and beautiful hazel eyes, but as this girl had never really put much stock in looks alone he had never even come close to inducing her to date him.

That is not to say he didn't have certain admiral qualities. For instance, he had always been extremely intelligent; the problem was he spent most of his time wasting his potential. He was exceedingly kind to most, but truly awful to the Slytherins. He couldn't keep a girlfriend, if you could call them that, for longer than a week, yet he was truly loyal and completely faithful to his Marauder bum chums. He could have any girl and yet he still chose to pursue her, one of the only girls in the school who didn't want him. She fully expected him to shirk his Head Boy duties, but he actually completed them with a speed and accuracy she found hard to fault.

In short he was a total enigma.

In the middle of her musing she suddenly felt someone yank on her arm and pull her into a very warm embrace.

"What are you doing?" she squealed.

"Pringle." he whispered.

"We're allowed to be out you moron. We're Head Boy and Girl. I know it's a foreign concept to you, seeing as almost everything you do is against the rules. But it means we won't get in trouble if someone sees us," she said slowly, as if she were trying to teach a monkey to talk.

His body still pressed flush with hers, he ignored her and put a finger to his lips signalling that she should stay quiet. She huffed, but complied.

Eventually he said, "I think he's gone," then, "Firstly we've been drinking which I know for a fact is totally against rules, having had them memorized since first year, and secondly even if we were legit it wouldn't stop Pringle because that man is out to get me."

She sniggered at his comment, "well maybe you shouldn't have kicked Mrs. Brambles down the marble staircase in second year."

"I hate that cat. Mangy little beast. I swear one day I'm going to shave it bald as the day it was born," he mumbled resentfully while still frantically scanning the corridor. But then quite unexpectedly he turned and looked directly in to her eyes. "How'd you know about that anyway?" He asked.

"Who didn't know about it?" she questioned. "You were the hero of rule breakers everywhere."

Suddenly he seemed to realize just how close they were causing his eyes to light up with mischief. Her breath hitched, and her heart gave a particularly hard thud at the look he was giving her. "You know, I think this is the closest I've ever been to you, without it resulting in you hitting me"

She rolled her eyes, "that can be rearranged."

"Ah, come on Evans I just saved you from a dentition with Pringle," he said, grinning broadly.

"Which is precisely why I'm not slapping you," she said with a falsely sweet smile. "Now, kindly remove you hands."

"Fine, fine." He said raising his hands in supplication and releasing her.

They continued walking in silence for a while before she said, "I can't believe you have all the school rules memorised, especially seeing as you seem to have broken most of them."

"Ah well you see Evans you need a full understanding of the rules in order to know how to break them and incur the least amount of punishment."

"Oh…"

"Hey Potter, thanks for tonight, it was exactly what I needed," she said uncomfortably.

"I know," he said without the slightest trace of arrogance, causing her to smile at him.

Just as they got to the top the marble staircase James said, "Hey Evans?"

She made a noise to indicate she was listening.

"I'm going to ask you something and I would like it if you could please try to avoid your usually knee jerk reaction. All I really want is the truth."

"Okay," she answered with a little trepidation

"What would it take to get you to consider giving me a chance?"

She laughed uncertainly, "Aren't you ever going to give up?"

"No," he said quietly, and so sincerely it shocked her. "Nobody has ever made me feel this way. So if there is even the slimmest chance I could be what you want, I need to know.""

She studied him for a moment before sighing, "I'm really sorry Potter. I'm not really sure what I want, but I don't think it's you."

He made no response, but continued to stare at her.

Uneasily she said, "I want someone who is kind and loyal and brave."

"I'm those things…" he started quietly in a slightly hurt voice.

"I know, but I want someone," she continued over him, "who takes life seriously, who lives up to their potential, has some ambition."

He opened his mouth to interrupt again.

"An ambition other than to be the person who can drink the most Firewhisky and not throw up," she pre-empted.

She looked so uncomfortable that he gave her a strained smile and said, "Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy."

"For goodness sake,' she said fighting a grin. "Do you have an answer for everything?"

"I can't help it, it's like a second nature," he said, shrugging "But isn't three out of six enough?" he pleaded. "After all you can't have everything. Where would you put it?" he added jokingly

"I'm sorry," she said seriously avoiding his eyes. "It would be a mistake."

"Not to mention you have spent most of your life as a big headed, bulling annoyance of a toe rag," she added lightly.

"Okay maybe I used to be, but I've changed. I apologise for all the things that I've done, past, present and future. Please just give me one chance," he begged.

She hesitated a moment and was about to answer him when suddenly James felt a sharp pain in his side.

---

A/N:

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far x

Ironic-Sarcasm, Literati and naley forever, jilllynn, angelofmynightmare, HarryPotterFreak4Lyf


	3. Pain

Bugger… 

Bugger!

BUGGER!

That had hurt.

Sirius had taken a running leap at James, causing him to stumble right into a poor unsuspecting student who was just about to descend the stairs. They all hung, suspended for a moment. Before Sirius began waving his arms about like a human windmill and took them all tumbling, head first, down the marble staircase

_Okay, OW_! Was the though that first came to mind when James finally regained his senses.

Then Sirius' voice came out of the silence that had descended, "Prongs, man, you dead?"

After taking a moment to think about this James mumbled, "I don't think so, but I think I may have broken my arse."

Sirius gave a snort of laughter, and was about to reply when a furious voice screamed, "Potter what the hell, you could have killed him!"

Huh.

He tried to look to his left but found he couldn't move, mainly because a very large weight appeared to be pinning him to the floor.

"Sirius man get off me," said James dreading what he was about to see.

After Sirius had crawled off him and onto a step, James sat up resting on his elbows. Three feet away from him he could see a very dazed Severus Snape.

Well that was just peachy. It could have been any number of students; heck he wouldn't even have been _too_ fussed if it had been a teacher; but, _no_, it just had to be him. He should have remembered his luck just seemed to work that way.

Lily came hurrying down the stairs and knelt over Snape, checking to see if he was okay.

"You stupid Gits! I can't believe it! Even walking past you has become hazardous!" she screeched.

"Hey now, come on, it was an accident." said Sirius indignantly rubbing the lump forming on his head. "I just wanted to give my Jamesie a congratulatory hug. It's not every day I see him manage to restrain you long enough to talk to him. I figured he must have finally cracked your _hardened bitter shell_," he said spitefully emphasising the last few words.

She made a growling noise and was about to start telling Sirius off, when James interrupted with a slight edge to his voice, "No! Don't worry about me Evans! I'm just fine."

He hadn't meant to be rude, but he was a little annoyed that Sirius had ruined his chance and he was a little stung because she seemed to care more about the Greaseball's health rather than his. It's not like he had had any choice in the matter, he had been pushed too!

She turned to face him, blinked stupidly, then her eyes flashed and she took a deep breath through her nose. A sure sign she was losing her temper. Fast.

Well bugger he'd done it now, he thought as he stood up grumpily and tentatively started moving about to check his limbs were still in full working order.

He had just looked down to check what he suspected was a sprained wrist, when Lily abruptly pulled him right up close to her face. "Don't you dare act like the victim here!"

"What do you mean _act_?_" _he said indignantly. "Please enlighten me as to how the hell was this was _my_ fault?"

"You did it on purpose, you pushed him." She said trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"I didn't!" he said shocked. "Sirius jumped on me and I accidentally knocked him over. I may not like the prick but that doesn't mean I want to cause him permanent damage!"

"You're a liar!" she said hotly. "And you're still a bully; and I really hate myself for being idiotic enough to think that you might have actually grown up. You had me fooled for a while, but I realise now, I was right the first time. You have no morals; you're dishonest and you treat everyone as if they are beneath you just because you can! You're not even sorry that he's hurt are you? You just care about yourself; whether or not your precious Potter looks have been ruined."

"Hey, that's unfair."

"Shut up! Just shut up! I'm so stupid..." she laughed mirthlessly. "I had forgotten for a moment that you always know all the right things to say. You almost had me, but unfortunately for you all you've done is solidified my contempt for you, in fact I...I can't stand you! So… so just fuck off Potter."

He stared at her incredulously for a moment before he became so angry even Lily who was rarely ever known to step down from an argument took a step back.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he said as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him so hard she slammed into his chest. "How dare you! You have gotten it so bloody wrong. All the years we have known each other and you don't know a single thing about me, do you?" he demanded but she seemed to regain her courage and cut him off.

"I know enough," she said harshly, pushing him away. "You're a spoilt little rich boy, who's most pressing worries are if he's got the best broomstick, whether mummy and daddy have sent him enough money, and whether his bimbo of the week is going to give out easily enough."

"Now wait a fucking minute," he yelled.

"You've never shown me anything different, nothing other than the usual crap you use on all those silly girls who fall at your feet. How many is it that you're on now Potter? Or should I say how many have you been under?" she questioned mockingly.

She saw a flash of hurt go through his eyes, and felt guilty; she knew what she'd been accusing him of was unfair. He had changed a lot over the last year, and despite what she may have implied he had never really been spoiled or that much of a womaniser (well no worse than his other friends anyway) her momentary weakness, however, was swiftly forgotten with his next statement.

"Don't you judge me for the girls I've been with, because each one was an attempt to forget you!"

"Oh wonderful Potter, I'm so flattered now. Silly me!" She said hysterically. "I hadn't realised you cared so much that you thought you had to sleep your way around the Hogwarts female population. How tortured you've been."

"I'll just drop my knickers now shall I …" she added scathingly.

In response he said in a harsh whisper, "Do you honestly think I constantly make my self look like a fool just for the fun of it? You think every time you tell me to bugger off I get some sick sadistic pleasure from it? I'm sorry Lily, but nothing about you rejecting me hundreds of times over is even remotely pleasurable."

She raised an eyebrow at him and snapped, "then why do it? Why humiliate yourself?"

He stared intently into her eyes for a few moments, searching for something. Before he ran a frustrated hand through his hair and said in a pained voice, "I'd walk away if I thought that I could, but I don't think I can and so….I _have_ to try! Don't you see that all I've ever done is _try_. I have tried every stupid, idiotic, thing I could think of…. You know, despite popular belief I am aware of the fact that it's truly pathetic the way that I pine after you, pathetic the way that I would give anything as long as I could have you, that I'd do anything to make you happy."

"But don't worry, it's finally become painfully obvious to me. What would make you most happy is for me to leave you alone. You're never going to change your mind. Nothing I have ever done has been enough, and nothing ever will be. Especially if you really believe all those things you just said about me."

"So fine," he said in a resigned voice. "Go on and live your life in peace. I'm not going to bother you anymore."

With that he brushed past her, and left.

She watched him go, unable to believe he was finally giving up. She felt unsatisfied and perhaps a little empty.

She was contemplating her feelings when suddenly a voice from behind her sneered, "Take your little dog too, he should be on a leash anyway."

Lily looked round to see Snape leaving shakily, but still managing to have a malicious grin on his face.

"Oh go shit in your shoes, Sevy!" bellowed Sirius from his spot on the stairs.

When Lily looked to Sirius, she was fully expecting to see him giving Snape a filthy look, perhaps even pointing his wand. So she was shocked to see he was giving _her_ a look so full of hatred she could finally see a resemblance to the rest of his family.

'Black…' she started, but he stopped her short with a disdainful look. Then he got up and stalked off after James.

Leaving Lily standing in the middle of the corridor, feeling very stupid and very alone.

---

A/N:

Thank you to everyone who reviewed x

LadyKnightSusan, Ironic-Sarcasm, beckie23, Literati and naley forever, LXavier, angelofmynightmare, lady knight keladry


	4. Acceptance

_Shit. Shit. Shit. _

_Leave her alone! LEAVE HER ALONE!_ Had he lost his mind!

_Probably_, he thought to himself grimly, but he was just going to have to deal with it, because he had promised and he had never broken a promise to her before.

_Shit._

_Leave her alone. _

Did he even know how? Did he really want to?

He had spent most of his life trying to get her to like him. His crush on her had been such a huge part of everything he did.

If he gave up, would it be like giving up a part of his life? Would he constantly be walking around feeling as though he was missing something?

If so, could he handle it?

Bleakly he realised that it didn't really matter.

If that was the way she truly felt… Then there was absolutely no chance for them, and it was better for them both if he just left her alone and… Moved on.

With that thought in mind, he resolved to do exactly that.

Damn it, he could bloody well move on if he wanted to. He didn't need her and she certainly didn't seem to need him.

It clearly wasn't meant to be. He just had to accept that.

He had evidently been wrong all those years. She wasn't _the One_ for him and therefore there was someone else out there that he had yet to find.

What did he really know about her anyway…?

He wasn't stupid he had noticed that she never smiled at him, never talked to him, that all she ever did was shout at him and tell him off, that she was always ruining his fun…

The only thing he would know about her if it wasn't for his constant pestering would be her name and that she was beautiful (but any fool could see that).

If he hadn't pestered her, he wouldn't know that she tutored struggling students in Charms, he wouldn't know that she was the one all her friends went to for comfort and help, that she was kind and honest...

So what if she was perfect and made him want to be a better man?

The idea of them together was ludicrous really… preposterous even.

It was better that he realised that now, before he went past the point of no return.

But the realisation that he would probably be better off in the long run didn't mean he didn't hate Snape, the world, himself and even Sirius right now.

_The flea bitten mongrel had entirely ruined his one chance_ he thought as he kicked the wall.

If it wasn't for him he wouldn't have a beautiful black eye blossoming on his face.

If it wasn't for him he could have been spending time alone with Lily for the first time … well… _ever,_ instead of standing in a deserted corridor, like the idiot he was, with a sore foot.

In the middle of his internal rant, he looked up to discover his friends had followed him.

Sirius spoke first, "Are you mad? Getting into a muggle fight with Snape? How many times do I have to tell you Prongs never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose."

"Hey Sirius," said James smacking Sirius upside his head "you may be my friend and sometime my alibi, but this is entirely your bloody fault."

"Hey, I didn't make you blow up at Evans, that was all you."

"Bugger," he said putting his face in his hands. "You're right, I shouldn't have screamed at her like that. Do you think I should go find her and apologise?" he asked looking urgently at Remus.

"No, I don't!" Sirius interrupted sharply "She's a bitch. I can't believe that she actually said those things to you!"

"They're true." mumbled James staring at his shoes, sounding full of self-hatred.

"No they aren't," said Sirius gruffly. "You are my best mate and you have helped me so much over the years… I will not allow you to feel like shit because of her. She knows nothing about you or your life. She has no idea-"

"No," James said vehemently. "It's not her fault she was right when she said I had never showed her anything different and… she may have been a little harsh about it, but there was an element of truth to everything that she said."

"No!" Remus interrupted causing both James and Sirius to look at him shocked at his outburst. "She just overreacted," he continued regaining his calm "I don't know why you're surprised. We have always known that she has a quick temper and a sharp tongue … and unfortunately for you everything you do seems to bother her… but James, if she truly, _truly_ didn't care about you then…I honestly think that she wouldn't even bother to scream at you. She wouldn't care how many girls you've slept with or how cruel your latest prank was. I mean think about it, she never shouts at Sirius no matter what he does, she's completely indifferent towards him. Why do you think that is?"

"Ugh, what does it even matter?! She's so high maintenance, no one could live up to Saint Lily's standards. Why do you even bother, I'm so sick of the way she treats you, I don't know why your even interested anymore!" said Sirius savagely.

"She's not high maintenance." said James with a frown at Sirius

"No," said Sirius "she just asks that you treat her no differently than you would the Queen."

James snorted at this giving Sirius a faint smile but then her sobered. "I really should apologise though, I shouldn't have shouted and I certainly shouldn't have pulled her about like I did."

Before he could turn to go, however, Moony decided to intervene and said sagely, "Prongs, I'm not sure that's a good idea right now. You just promised that you'd leave her alone, haven't you ever heard that patience is a virtue?"

"Moony," he mimicked "haven't you ever heard the things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first?"

"Don't be stupid, you'll regret it," he said, that time more firmly.

"I doubt that one more regret in my life will make all that much of a difference." James sighed but knowing Remus was right

"That's true, he's always in trouble. He wouldn't know how to act if he weren't," Sirius said with a devious smile.

"Bugger off Sirius, I still say this is entirely your fault! You hyperactive arsehole."

"I'm sorry old chum, but I beg to differ."

"Oh really let's do the check list shall we?"

"Chaos? Check," James said.

"Panic? Check." Remus followed.

"Disorder? Check." ended Peter, finally deciding to involve himself in the conversation.

"Sirius strikes again!" Sirius shouted exuberantly before following earnestly. "Seriously though, fuck her James! She's not worth it," then jokingly, "grow a set of balls and act like a man!"

"You're going to pay for saying that. Later."

"Not that I'm complaining but what's wrong with now?" asked Sirius looking baffled.

"Well Padfoot, you seem to travel faster when someone is chasing you, and I can't be bothered to exert that kind of energy right now."

"Oh yes, that's right. Right now you have to wallow in your pit of despair," Sirius teased.

Ignoring that comment James said, more to himself than to his friends, "I'll get over her, I know I will, I have to!" As he said that he turned looking dejected and left leaving his friends looking after him worriedly.

After all it was just another day without her… He was used to it.

He could and would conquer this.

If he was making her feel bad he would just get over it, he wanted her happy.

It was a simple as that. He just had to accept it.

AN:

I have to say a HUGE thank you to cosmopolitan who not only is a regular reviewer but who has also graciously offered to beta my work from now on. She was so swift at correcting my work that she managed to get this chapter back to me the same day I sent it despite the major time difference. xxxxxxx

Also thank you to all those who have reviewed

beckie23, cosmopolitan (again), LadyKnightSusan, lady knight keladry, angelofmynightmare, Ironic-sarcasm


	5. Protection

Lily walked back to the common room in a daze. 

_Why? Why? Why did she always react like that? _

How did he manage to have that effect on her?

Whenever she was within shouting distance of James Potter her entire personality just seemed to morph. She was no longer kind caring Lily who would do anything in her power to help someone who needed it, heck she wasn't even calm Lily who approached every situation with thoughtfulness logic and reason. She was Lily the cold bitch who couldn't seem to stop her mouth from spitting out awful hurtful things.

Which horrified and distressed her because she wasn't a bitch, she really wasn't, and worst of all she knew James no longer deserved most of the things she said to him.

She now knew he could be conscientious, kind, loyal and loving, having seen him exhibiting all those qualities numerous times. Knowing he had such decent qualities, that he was human after all, made her feel guilty about her verbal abuse of him because she knew that she was hurting his feeling even if he tried not to show it.

Problem was it was only when he thought she wasn't looking he displayed his 'good side' and it really upset her to know he thought that he had to hide that side of himself from her. In fact she felt a little offended that he obviously thought she was the kind of girl who was impressed by arrogant, mean, spiteful wankers.

As such she refused to take all the blame for her lack of patience and kindness with him, he played a part in it too because whenever he was around her he became an arrogant prick who pushed her to the limit of her boundaries and then always made sure to give her that last shove over the edge, into madness.

When he acted like that around her, was it any wonder all she did was scream at him? All he did was go out of his way to try and make her lose control of her temper, in fact he had become an expert in the field and feeling out of control always brought out the worst in her.

No one else affected her like that. Sure, other people were rude to her or wound her up but they never managed to get the same kind of reaction out of her.

She had no idea why he stirred such emotions in her and until recently she was too afraid to prod the feelings, for fear of discovering something that she didn't want to find, but over the last year or so she had become increasingly aware of the fact that a lot of her disproportional anger towards him was a reaction to the way he made her feel, he just made her feel…_uncomfortable? _

_Was that the right word? And if so why? _

Was it the way he looked at her, like he was drinking her in? Was it the way he said her name, her first name, as if it was the most beautiful name in the world? Was it because whenever they were together he always made her feel as if she were the most important person in the world? Or was it because she had been gradually noticing a difference in the way she looked at him too, how she had suddenly found herself caring about what he thought?

Either way, whatever progress they had made, whatever kind of relationship they had, it had just taken a turn for the worst because she'd never seen him like that, not with anyone, and especially not with her.

She had been totally shocked by his outburst. He was a lot of things, but angry and defeated he wasn't. Misguided at times _yes_, flippant _yes_, but he was _never_ angry without reason and she had never seen him look so beaten.

Maybe it was time she considered the possibility that he really was interested in her, that she was not just a passing fancy.

_Which was just bloody brilliant because he had just given up! _

It made her stomach turn and she felt sick at the thought that she had reduced him to that, she had finally brought James Potter to his knees, she had broken him, and it was awful.

No, surely not, he was Potter. That man had one hundred feet off his broom before and just bounced back up. This surely couldn't hurt anymore than that?

Convincing herself of this she fully expected to enter the Common Room and see him and his friends in the corner lounging about and acting as if nothing had happened.

In fact by the time she pushed the portrait hole open she had totally persuaded herself that he had just got caught up in the moment, had reacted like that because of the shock of the fall... that's right he had bumped his head! Of course he was confused. She didn't hold enough power over him to be able to truly crush him like that….

But when she climbed through and eagerly looked to his usual corner it was empty and depressingly lacking in excitement and activity

_Bugger!_ she had been so convinced! Discovering him absent was such a blow it caused her to collapse in to a chair completely deflated.

She wasn't sure how long she sat their staring disbelievingly trying to make sense of the whole evening.

Everything was out of place. So much so, that an hour later she was still completely at a lost for words.

Was she actually feeling … guilt?

Yes, that was definitely it and she realised she was going to have to apologise if she was ever going to be able to live with herself.

So she got up to find and to talk to him, but she was stopped short because she came face to face with Sirius whose usually smiling face was hard and unforgiving, his arms were crossed, and his overall stance was intimidating, he was obviously fuming.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Who gave you the right to talk to Him like that? Who gave you the right to talk to _anyone_ like that?" he started without preamble.

Lily knew he had a point and totally understood his anger, she had been berating herself for the same reasons, but she was so shocked by his nasty demeanour that she automatically started to frown at him.

But her feelings of righteous anger deflated as she looked behind him. She was searching for an ally or a voice of reason, but as her eyes flicked to Remus and Peter she was disappointed because all she received was equally furious looks from both of them.

Making her feel even more disgusted with herself. She must have really done some damage to have Remus looking at her like that.

Her momentary inattention seemed to infuriate Sirius, but he made a gigantic effort to stay calm: "What you say really affects him. He really cares about what you think. Minus a few stalker like tendencies and a few harmless pranks, he has never treated you with anything but kindness and affection, and in return he receives bitterness and poison. He doesn't deserve the things you say to him!"

Bristling at the attack and trying to maintain some dignity she tried half heartedly "you're being ridiculous he doesn't care and who are you to criticise me anyway? If he has something to say to me, he can say it himself, not send his minions!" But the guilty feeling in her stomach was worsening with every word.

"All we have heard for years," Remus responded incredulously, gesturing sharply at himself, Sirius and Peter. "Is Lily this, Lily that, _do you think I'm as awful as she says I am? Why won't she go out with me?_ Over the years your words have really hurt him, but he's always bounced back, so we let it go. But now he's actually starting to believe the terrible things you say, which is simply unacceptable. I've never understood how you could perceive James the way you do, but I figured it was your own business. But now I see you're just closed minded and cold hearted. I had felt a little bad for you, I thought it must have been just as hard on you as it was on him, after all he didn't exactly pursue you in the best ways but now I just think you don't deserve him_ Evans._"

Remus calling her by her surname and shouting at her like that made her already bruised heart feel even more battered.

But before she could even attempt to form a response Sirius started speaking again "He's a good person and he took me in when I had no one else to turn to. He is one of the best people I know and I'm so sick of hearing you tell him otherwise. I've sat back and until now I've left James to his own devices but now I've had enough! I won't let you call him conceited or any of the other awful things you call him any more. He doesn't deserve it!"

"Fuck of Black, I'll do whatever please!"

There stared angrily at each other before he disregarded her previous statement and continued in a cold measured voice "He's finally giving up, you're finally getting what you've always wanted, it's over, and he is going to leave you alone. I hope it's what you truly want because you can't go back. I won't let you have another chance to destroy him. In fact if I see you within one hundred feet of him, so help me Merlin I will hurt you! Woman or not. He's our family and we won't let you make him miserable anymore."

She looked down at here shoes unable to look at the irate Sirius any longer feeling guilt eating at her.

Ignoring her unease and perhaps even taking a little pleasure in it, he said: "You have no idea how impossible it's going to be for him. You will NOT make this harder on him than it has to be. You've done quite enough damage so I think you owe it to him to do everything you can to make this easier on him. So don't smile, don't try to talk to him and don't try to apologise."

Swallowing dryly, and looking back up to Sirius she tried to placate them and maybe herself by saying: "look I know you're angry and feeling protective and you have every right to be. I've been horrible and unfair, and I've been feeling so guilty-"

"Poor you," Sirius snapped before laughing hollowly, "You're a fucking idiot if you think you're going to get sympathy from me Evans. You've felt like shit for all of an hour, however will you recover? Try swapping places with James because you have been making him feel like shit for years."

"I know, but I honestly thought he wasn't really interested, that it was just the chase, the unachievable, you know. That's why I was always so harsh, if I had know it effected him that deeply-"

"Chase!?" he said disbelievingly, looking at her as if she were an exceptionally unstable insane person who totally disgusted him. "He's only human Evans no one would take that kind of punishment, for as long as James has, just for the excitement of the chase! This has never been a game or a competition to anyone, but you! You childish, stupid little girl!"

"I know she tried feebly I've been so stupid-"

Sirius ignored her and continued where he had left off. "So as I said before, you've finally got what you've always wanted. He no longer needs your remarks or your distain and I certainly don't think he needs you. So from now on you are to go nowhere, _NOWHERE_ near him," he said thought gritted teeth. "Do you understand me?"

She was so shocked and hurt by their attack that at first she didn't answer.

"Do you understand me?" he shouted as he grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little causing the few people in the common room to turn and face them.

"Yes," she whispered meekly.

They had never talked to her like that no one had, no one dared, not to mention Potter wouldn't have allowed it even if they had tried.

_Oh crap_. She was missing him already.

A/N:

Oooh I updated YAY! I know its been a while for this story. I'm sorry it took so long, especially because I have been updating my other story Deception of the Worst Kind regularly but that story just seems to be coming easier to me at the moment.

The original plan for this story was for all the events to take place in one night so at the moment this story only has 1 perhaps 2 chapters left but I'd really like to know if you think it's worth me considering extending it.

Thank you to the beta cosmopolitan

A humongous thank you to all those who have reviewed I'm sorry if I haven't replied to you individually, I'm going to try to from now on. x

LadyKnightSusan, BusStop412, Cymru01, Ironic-Sarcasm, lady knight keladry, HarryPotterFreak4Lyf, Vanilor the White Phoenix, beckie23, angelofmynightmare


	6. Wonders Never Cease to Amaze

Okay, it was official the whole world had gone mad and they had taken Lily down with them. After all, in what sane world would anyone have thought that Lily Evans would feel so guilty over her treatment of James Potter that she would actually purposefully break curfew to go looking for him. Definitely not her and yet she had been searching for the last half an hour. She hated him right now, hated him for making her care.

_"Curse Potter and all his ancestors for this," _she thought grumpily.

After ten more minutes of looking and someway down on the fifth floor by the window that had the best view in the castle she finally heard a cautious voice come out of the shadows making her jump out of her skin "What are you doing out here?"

She turned towards the sound of his voice to find him sitting on the floor leaning against the wall with his arms resting on his knees.

"What are you doing here of all places, and sitting on the floor?" she countered.

"Eh, rough day," he said, shrugging with a sad smile.

"Me too," she whispered looking apologetically at him.

"And I like sitting on the floor," he said trying to lighten the mood. "Makes me feel young again."

"Did you ever grow up?" she replied before instantly covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she said shakily, "I don't know why I say things like that to you, I'm really not normally a bitch, I just can't seem to control it around you"

He stared at her incredulously, "don't be ridiculous Lily and definitely don't cry! I'm not made of glass, I don't mind a little bit of ribbing; it's all the other stuff that bothers me."

When the tears brimming in her eyes merely increased with his statement, he looked away and whispered: "Please stop, I hate it when you cry."

She nodded and took a deep breath her eyes clearing of most of the moisture, but continuing to have a slightly glassy appearance, she smiled hesitantly before asking: "Is Sirius alright?"

"Oh, don't worry he's had worse falls before and the bump on his head is nothing a hat won't cover."

She couldn't help but laugh at that, but it was quickly stifled when she remembered what she had actually meant by the question.

"No, I didn't mean the fall, though I do hope he's okay."

He looked at her quizzically, "what did you mean then?"

"Well last time I saw him not only did he have a large bump, but he also had a mean scowl." She paused a moment before whispering: "he wasn't very happy with me at all."

"Well as far as his mood is concerned… he's Sirius, he doesn't really have it in him to be truly hateful." James said, desperately trying to reassure her after noticing how upset she really was about Sirius.

"No, I deserve for him to hate me. I deserve for you to hate me. He said some things, well shouted really-"

"What, he shouted at you?!" James took a moment to look more closely at her face, up until now he had been trying to avoid looking directly at her, so when he finally did look he was surprised to see her eyes were more than a little red indicating that she had been crying long before she had come to see him.

He quickly got to his feet and fiercely said: "I'll kill him and make it look like an accident."

"No, no," she reached out grabbing his arm only to retract it quickly when he flinched at the contact. "Don't be angry at him, I needed it," she started trying to ignore the awkwardness, "he really knocked some sense into me. Even if he was a bit severe… in fact I think he had every right to be. I was awful and cruel and I'm so sorry about the things I said to you and I really want to thank you, for well everything"

James didn't reply; he didn't know what he was supposed to say and so he just inspected his shoes.

She started to repeat her apology hoping to get some kind of reaction, but he interrupted. "Stop it, you really don't have to apologise or explain because I finally get it. You don't need to feel guilty; after all, you can't change the way you feel and I just need to learn to accept that. It's my problem and I'll deal with it, but don't worry, I meant everything I said before, I'm going to leave you alone." He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before he tuned and started to make his way back to the common room.

She didn't follow him though; she remained in the spot she had been standing in before whispering to his back "I hate you." The words caused his heart to break and his feet to stop moving "because you're-"

"I know, I get it, I've had you scream it at me often enough. Please lets just leave it like that, I really don't think I could stand to hear it right now," he said brokenly.

"Wait," she tried again, "you're not giving me a chance to-"

"What… what is it that you want from me," he shouted into the empty corridor flinging his hands out to the side, "blood?! Because you've had sweat and tears."

"Stop it," she cried desperately, "let me finish."

"No!" he shouted spinning around, "I thought we were actually getting somewhere! I thought finally, _finally_ I might have a chance. We were getting along and you were looking at me, the real me, not the dickhead who you wouldn't even cross the road to spit on if he was on fire- Don't deny it, it happened once in third year." He cut across her response, "I knew it was being a bit optimistic to think you might finally fancy me back, but I thought we were friends at least, but I'm obviously just the same in your eyes, no matter how hard I try."

Her eyes had been down cast all through his tirade prompting him to say in a strained voice: "For fuck's sake Evans could you at least look at me when I'm talking to you!?"

But when she didn't move a muscle, he truly lost his temper and shouted "Fine" before continuing. "You're so fucking confused Evans, do _you_ even know what you want? I mean for Merlin's sake why exactly did you come if you weren't going to talk to me?!"

When she still didn't reply he exasperatedly said "I'm so sick of this, I've finally run out of steam here Evans. I can't take anymore, it's been years of torture and I'm done being a glutton for punishment. It's finally over; I think both of our lives are going to be a lot easier without the other in it," then he turned and started to walk away again.

But he stopped mid step when he heard her gentle and broken plea for him to stop. He stood on the spot and waited, but she didn't continue. Just as he was getting fed up of waiting for her talk and was about to start walking again, he felt her gentle touch through the back of his robes. With his back turned he hadn't noticed she had followed his footsteps and come to stand directly behind him. He stiffened at the contact, shocked to the very core by her actions.

"I'm sorry," she said into his back her finger drawing minute patterns at the base of his back before she ran one hand up his spine and curled the fingers over his left shoulder so that she was gripping him. The other hand wrapping gently around his stomach. He took a deep breath as he felt her lean her weight into him and rest her forehead in the centre of his back.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, "perhaps I shouldn't have started my sentence like that, it was thoughtless and of course you would get offended, but would you please just give me a chance to talk to you?" she said as she walked slowly around him realising her hold on his shoulder and dragging her fingers lightly over his torso as she walked. She came to a stop standing directly in front of him, her hand coming to a rest pressing against his chest.

He could feel her standing there but he refused to look up, he knew if he did it would weaken his resolve and he wouldn't be able to stay angry, which would be a bad thing because he really wanted to be angry at her.

He felt the gentle brush of her knuckles against his cheek and despite his best efforts to the contrary he unconsciously lent into her, finally looking up and directly into her eyes, and he saw that they were tear-filled again causing his heart to clench.

He had never been able to refuse her anything so he nodded his head miserably, indicating he would listen to what she had to say, no matter how heartbreaking it turned out to be.

With her palm now cupping his cheek, she murmured "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the way I've treated you and I'm so unbelievably completely sorry for what I said earlier, it was unfair. I snapped at you, but not because I think you're normally spiteful… You're actually annoyingly wonderful…I did it because I was disappointed."

"That really wasn't my fault," he interrupted quietly.

She smiled, "I know, I guess I overacted, sometime I do that, it's in my nature, in case you hadn't noticed I've got a bit of a fiery temper," she attempted to joke.

When he didn't smile at her poor attempt she became serious again, and holding his head in her hands and looking directly into his eyes she stated clearly: "what I was going to say earlier if you hadn't interrupted was that: I hate you because I think you're brilliant, brave, kind, intelligent, good looking…fantastic at Quidditch" at that the corner of his mouth briefly flicked up. "And… and I'm sorry I ever told you any different," when he still didn't say anything she continued, "And I hate you for making me want you."

He was so shocked he could barely move, but his eyes managed to widen as he noticed that her face was coming closer to his. Then she did something that he had lost all hope of her ever doing, she kissed him, and so softly he wasn't entirely sure she had done it.

He was so surprised that she was touching him at all that he didn't respond to her gentle caress, but who could blame him, if anything he had been expecting her to run in the opposite direction every time she saw him from now on… not actively seek him out, call him wonderful, and then say that she wanted him with such conviction that he momentarily believed her.

She pulled away after what must have been mere seconds to stare into his eyes looking for his reaction

He gazed at her in silence for so long she couldn't seem to stand it any longer and dropped her hands and turned her head away from his penetrating gaze.

"I guess I deserve that, I don't blame you for not wanting me anymore, I wouldn't want me after the way I've treated you," she said in a choked voice. "It's funny how things work out isn't it."

He stared at her in complete astonishment his eyes widening even further in disbelief at her words and he was about to open his mouth to disabuse her of her of the notion that he hadn't enjoyed the kiss, to tell her wanted to be with her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life, but just like before this whole mess started James heard footsteps and this time it was well past curfew. He quickly drew her to him and into the nearest alcove. She was surprised to find her back pressed firmly to his front with his warm arm wrapped around her stomach holding her to him.

Soon the footsteps had died away, but neither of them moved.

He had been in shock before; after all, it's not every day that the person you've been in love with for years miraculously changes their whole opinion of you. But when he felt her breath hitch from his touch his senses came back swiftly and he found he couldn't help himself. He spun her around with his arm still wrapped around her waist.

She stared into his eyes for a moment and before she knew what had happed he had put his large hand on her cheek tilted her head and kissed her, moving his wonderfully soft lips over hers. When he ran his tongue over her bottom lip, she instantly opened her mouth to him, gently touching her tongue to his, this action sent his mind into a tail spin and he kissed her desperately.

He couldn't get enough, he didn't think he would ever get enough, but finally he managed to pull himself away panting long enough to say "if this is going to work I want-" he stopped, however, to correct himself. "No, I _need_ some things from you."

"Anything," she said without hesitation.

"I need you to go on a date with me," he said closing his eyes, expecting the worst, but still hesitantly kissing her forehead.

"Done," she answered.

"I need you to be my girlfriend," he said whispered getting a little braver and kissing her cheek.

"Done," she responded quickly.

"I need you to want no one, but me, to stay with me forever" he said fiercely as he kissed her neck.

"Done," she promised breathlessly.

"I need you to let me walk you back to the common room and when we get there I need you to let me kiss you again. I need you to let me kiss you whenever and wherever I feel like it from now on, even if it means doing it in front of a teacher," he said his arms tightening possessively around her.

She smiled demurely, blushing a little, but she hugged him back and finished fiercely "Done."

"Good then it's settled" he said before urgently pressing his mouth back to hers and holding her so tightly she wasn't sure where she began and he ended, and she loved every oxygen deprived minute of it.

Maybe the world had gone mad and taken Lily with it, but she was so happy she felt like she could literally burst and it was all because of James Potter, well, would wonders never cease to amaze.

The End...

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A/N

Gasp I actually posted to this much neglected story and I apologise profusely for not posting sooner. I'm not trying to make excuses but I would like to say I found this last chap quite difficult to write

For all those who hated the wait I hope you take solace in the fact that you will probably not have to wait for this story again because this is last chap of Wonders Never Cease to Amaze or at least I think it is…and seeing as the story is at an end: be kind and merciful by leaving a review

Thank you to cosmopolitan who was the beta and to everyone who has ever taken the time to read the story and an extra special thank you to all those who left a review

Ironic-Sarcasm, jilllynn. Angelofmynightmare, HarryPotterFreak4Lyf, LadyKnightSusan, beckie23, Literati and naley forever, LXavier, lady knight keladry, BusStop412, Cymru01, Vanilor the White Phoenix


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